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Exalted: Modern – Headlines, Week Four

August 31, 2011

Game is still running strong!  Once more, all fictional.

NRGZR Officially Announced Best Beverage Ever

Coca-Cola corporation officially released sales data for their latest energy drink, NRGZR, last Thursday, announcing that the drink has surpassed all previously held sales records, all preliminary expectations, and has generally been received as the best drink ever produced by humanity.  Stores have been unable to keep NRGZR in stock, and riots have been reported in some small towns where retailers have not been able to supply the public’s demand for the beverage.  Readers are encouraged to purchase as much NRGZR as possible to prevent possible shortages while Coca-Cola produces more.  In the wake of the company’s success, Coca-Cola’s new CEO, Karl “the Brilliant” Northman has suggested that he may go so far as to change the iconic name and imagery to birth a new company, focused solely on the production and distribution of NRGZR.

Manhattan Island Under Siege by National Guard

New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg announced a state of emergency early this morning, when gang violence within Manhattan rose to a fever pitch, resulting in the deaths of at least a dozen S.W.A.T. officers and prompting a full withdrawal by the local law enforcement agencies.  Preliminary reports suggest the local street gangs have united or been assimilated into a single criminal entity, which has thus far been extremely casual about perpetration of open violence.  The National Guard has deployed their forces, sealing off Manhattan Island and assisting trapped civilians in the evacuation of what has been called, “a bloody war zone.”  No word yet as to whether this is an organized takeover or merely an explosion of gang warfare, but officials are saying this will not be over quickly.

The Dead Walk in Czech Republic

More than two dozen interred corpses have spontaneously animated and walked from the crypts in the Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic, witnesses claim.  Groundskeepers reported hearing unusual noises and seeing strange, “horrifying” lights inside the chapel Sunday night, but did not investigate.  Monday morning, however, early tourists reported seeing  shambling corpses emerging from the holy site, gathered around a figure garbed entirely in black robes.  Though all primary witnesses were too traumatized to give reliable reports, subsequent investigations have suggested that thirty of the priests buried within are missing.  On a potentially related note, several other graveyards throughout the Sedlec area have been vandalized within the last six weeks. 

Australian Outback Experiences Sudden Fertility Growth

Local scientists reported a sudden and unexplainable population explosion among plants and animals in the Australian Outback Wednesday morning.  The area, widely considered hostile, has a very unique and balanced ecosystem, experts explained, which can be easily damaged by the introduction of new species of plant or animal.  However, the sudden fecundity seems to have done far more than unbalance the ecosystem.  Species of plant not seen since the Cretaceous Period have spontaneously developed in the arid region, which local geologists say could not reasonably support such life, even if it were to reappear from extinction.  Moreover, strange and alien animals have begun to appear in the newly dubbed “Wild Zone,” many of which have proven hostile to attempts to study them.  Ecologists say they cannot begin to predict the effects this zone could have on Australia or the world at large, and no one seems to have any explanation for why it happened in the first place.

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